Is Every Donald Out There a Trump? A Peek Behind the Name of the Most Evil Donalds in History

2017 is not a lucky year to be called Donald. That would have been the 1930s when American parents simply swooned over the Gaelic-inspired name. It was the right moment in history, after all. Walt Disney’s most obnoxiously cute character, Donald Duck surfed on the high waves of popularity, Scottish immigrants spilled in the thousands through the gates of Ellis Island and McDonald’s fries had gained the chain’s first legion of fans.

Then, Donald was hip. However, to be baptized Donald nowadays can give you a clue in years to come if your parents felt mischievous or Republican. Either a crime as condemnable as naming your baby Adolf in the 1940s.

Undoubtedly, there are certain disreputable characters in recent history who have been ruining the name Donald for a whole lot of decent, neither monstrous nor demonic people.

In short, the banality of 21st century evil goes under plenty of names, but at the moment, the one to stand out as the Emperor Palpatine of titles is Donald. Unfairly enough, since the appellative had been invented to dress in valor and gallantry the kings of Scots and Picts of the 9th century.

Behind the Name Lies the Man: Who is the Worst Donald in History?

In ancient Gaelic, Domhnall translated to “ruler of the world”, a worthy enough etymology to be adopted by one of the most powerful Scottish clans of the medieval heroic ages. It skyrocketed to coolness levels with Clan Donald.

However, the winds of change blew a steady gust of reprehensible, maniacal, short-tempered, morally dubious and repressive characters who have slandered and spoiled the name Donald for generations to come.

We won’t start with the obvious choice. Others deserve their turn at the podium of infamy, and some of them have run the extra mile to deserve the title of an “evil Donald”.

McDonald’s: The Trump of Corporations

Could I get a McDonald’s Trump, please? Make it a Big Mac or, scratch that, let’s try a Great Donald. In size huge, of course.

In the midst of the biggest, most succulent White House scandal since Nixon unleashed Watergate to spoil the blissful innocence of American politics, thousands of Americans have staged a march of protest against a second evil Donald.

Recently titled as “the Trump of corporations”, McDonald’s whipped the wrath of people of all walks of life, political color, and culinary preferences.

Marching from the Trump Tower in downtown Chicago to the Golden Arches up the avenue, the Patriotic Millionaires, the Movement for Black Lives, MoveOn.org, Our Revolution, Color of Change, and the organizers from the Women’s March added McDonald’s on the protest menu.

This year’s activism ranged pervasive and bold over all kinds of issues. It surrounded affairs such as women’s equality, White House wrongdoing and climate change disclaimers, faulty immigration policies, and the president’s mean tweets. But the rally against the fast-food giant doesn’t come as a simple side dish, packaged in with the rest of the resistance movements.

The rally against McDonald’s targets the second-largest employer in the U.S. for its low minimum wage, its reluctance to allow workers to unionize, the stifling rent it charges its global franchisees, its latest ad exploiting child bereavement, and last but not least, it being McDonald’s.

The purveyor of health-damning McRibs and the all-time dealer of obesity.

Donald Fauntleroy Duck: The Trump with a Scottish Quack

“What’s the big deal?” When things don’t go as planned- and they never do- Donald huffs and puffs.

From a trickster hero, he is immediately turned into a lame duck when facing fate’s vicissitudes. His areas of expertise are mischief and retaliation and this cartoonish icon definitely knows how to deal a trump card.

But not how to be dealt one. In the words of his creator, Fred Spencer, Donald Duck “immediately loses his temper when the tables are turned. He can dish it out, but he can’t take it.”

Donald Duck can pick up a fight with ghosts, mountain goats, Jaws, tornadoes, Mickey Mouse, Chip and Dale, and whoever dares to steal his limelight. Or ruffle his feathers.

“Hiya, toots!” is how Donald understands to address his sweetheart, Daisy. He loves to brag, but not always can he live up to those great expectations.

The most successful scenes paint Donald as an eccentric duck given to dark moods, who is in turn a Nazi officer assembling a line of Hitler portraits or an old geezer mercilessly pestered by his own nephews.

Donald Sterling: The Whitest Trump of All

Confirming the stereotype that Chicago landlords suffer from a homegrown, seemingly untreatable strain of racism, Donald Sterling has walked out of the NBA hall of infamy with a dented reputation and a $2 billion gap in his wealth after his ex-wife, Shelly sold his former team, the L.A. Clippers.

Born Donald Tokowitz to Jewish immigrants, Sterling is a self-made billionaire who fostered a talent for real estate and happily entertained a weakness for mistresses.

One of the most notorious of the bunch, V. Stiviano recorded Donald Sterling’s racism rant and handed the tape to TMZ. The public outcry was huge as the man was heard chastising the woman about bringing black people to his games or posting an Instagram photo with her and Magic Johnson.

It just shows how wealth can’t buy common-sense. But a scandal can. Otherwise, Donald Sterling might have had a real chance at shooting the presidential hoop himself. Who knows?

Donald Draper: The Mad Man Trump

We love him. We hate him. We mostly fear him. But above all, we can’t ignore him. Donald Draper is such an evil Donald that he succeeds in completing a full circle of extremes only to end up being the best in the end. Pretty confusing, but that’s the point.

As the “Mad Men” series unfolds, Donald Draper embarks on a roller coaster of vice.

He is in turns arrogant, cynical, manipulative, a womanizer, a bad father and a worse husband. The ad man is not even Don Draper.

His name is actually Dick Whitman, a war deserter with a fake army tag on which he secured a new life. Donald or Dick, the man boasts a natural talent to destroy everything around him. The first of the victims being none other than himself.

Donald Harvey: The Death Delivery Nurse

A serial murder of the 21st century brand, Donald Harvey was a former nurse’s aide who admitted killing up to 57 hospital patients in Kentucky and Ohio.

The psychotic orderly must have considered the name Donald too mundane for his “divine” task since he began to call himself the “Angel of death” and claimed to have “delivered from evil and suffering” 87 people.

It is hard to assess the exact number of victims as Donald Harvey kept his crimes hidden for 17 years. His methods of killing included cyanide, insulin, suffocation, arsenic, morphine, administration of hepatitis B or HIV, and too many others to count.

Donald Rumsfeld: The Philosopher Trump

“There are known knowns.” Donald Rumsfeld, a graduate of political science, did have a knack for coining brilliantly confusing phrases. Trump could have used a man of his talent to shape up those black-and-white tweets. There are known knowns indeed, one being that Rumsfeld could advocate for a role as one of the most inglorious politicians in American history.

The Secretary of Defense under the controversial presidency of George W.Bush, Rumsfeld strongly defended the post-9/11 occupation of Iraq, the military attacks on Afghanistan, and the Guantanamo style of enhanced interrogation techniques of U.S enemies.

The name Donald has been given more of its fair share of public attention. It was bad publicity that gave the present U.S. president his trump card, after all.

Donald Trump contains a bit of all the evil Donalds in one. And that makes for a powerful, nasty force to be reckoned with.