What is your posture telling others?

As time is moving forward, we are speeding up with it and that means that we have just a few seconds to make a lasting first impression. Whether we are on a first interview or at a speed dating event, don’t let your posture contradict what you hope to accomplish.

In theater, there is an understood concept of a fourth wall. The fourth wall is an imaginary wall that exists between the actors and audience. Breaking the fourth wall means a character is aware of their fictional nature, which is a freeing realization for them. They begin to take themselves less seriously and have a heightened awareness.

I bring up this fourth wall because, like everything in this physical world, the fourth wall is a microcosm of a larger macrocosm. The macrocosm, in this case, being our reality. No two individuals’ realities are the same because we’re each looking at life through a different fourth wall; our eyes.

Our vision, including peripheral, makes up the three walls in our reality. However, we are often so engrossed in the story that we rarely bring our attention back to us, the audience.

In this article, I want to show you how to break the fourth wall to bring more happiness to your life. As we observe the three walls of our reality, we forget to see ourselves as others see us. If you switch your perspective to that of a person sitting across from you, what body language is your physical body communicating to the world?

Slumped shoulders:

It used to be a trend for women to wear padded shoulders, much like what men have in suits today. Some women are grateful that the trend is over while others miss the tapered V shape the padded shoulders gave them. Above all, wide, strong shoulders give a person an appearance of confidence. Slumped and weighty shoulders can indicate feeling depressed. Shoulders that are pulled back communicate strength and dominance.

Whether people realize it or not, we all notice a person’s body language. Being unaware of our slumped shoulders can make us prey to those who make a living noticing body language. Think of a con man. Is he more likely to target someone with broad shoulders that are pulled back who exudes confidence, or a diminutive person with slumped shoulders who looks unsure of himself? To help you answer this question, recall to mind that crazy tip you heard a while ago; when faced with a bear, make yourself look bigger. Actually being physically bigger than the bear isn’t the point or the goal. By just making yourself look more expansive, you won’t look like such easy prey.

Crossed legs:

We have such a wide range of motion available to us that choosing to narrow our stance gives us a less stable appearance. By firmly planting our feet apart from each other, in a powerful V position, we feel more expansive and give the look of confidence. So it stands to reason (no pun intended) that a narrower, crossed stance shows unsurety of self, possibly even wanting to appear smaller than we are.

In women’s society, we’re taught to cross our legs with knee on top of knee, even if we’re not wearing a short skirt. We’re expected to walk foot in front of foot, in a straight line. But these standards are geared to make women feel more submissive and smaller. Men, especially confident ones, take wider and more expansive strides. Everyone can benefit mentally from using all the space available in our range of motion.

Crossed arms:

When we cross our arms, it tells others that we are close-minded to anything outside of us. The crossed arms, like a gate, say “Don’t approach.” Some people may want to give off that impression and I understand that completely. As an introvert, I catch myself with crossed arms and I stop to ask myself, “What don’t I want to receive or what do I not want to offer?”

By having open arms, we leave our heart open for amazing things to happen to us. If we look inviting, someone may strike a conversation with you that turns out to be a successful networking connection in the future. Open your arms, heart and mind to possibilities!

When we break the fourth wall of our own reality and look at ourselves objectively, we will find greater happiness through improved physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Physically, improved posture will prevent against neck and upper body pain, headaches/migraines, and allow greater oxygen flow through our bodies. Oxygen flows through our bodies only when the body is expansive, the opposite of which all the postures listed above do.

Mentally, improved posture will give us confidence and have us feeling we can face anything the world wants to throw us. Emotionally, improved posture will make us feel less anxious, depressed and fearful. We may think that our minds are where these emotions and thought patterns are developed when in reality, it all starts with the body. You can trick your mind into believing anything you desire so if you want to feel confident, then change the poor posture into a powerful one and fake it til you make it.