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Do We Really Get Relationships?


The release & theme of Jay-Zs new album 4:44 this past Friday has raised various questions between men and women about what truly is merited in relationship.

What are we?



Under normal circumstances, the belief of what most relationships are founded on is love, the pursuit of happiness, and an undeniable bond that keeps both partners true to each other. However, a crucial aspect often overlooked is knowing mentally where a person’s head is at. Is this person honest with themselves? Are they aware of themselves? Is this person in a good place when the relationship begins? Is this person battling demons? The list can be endless but can usually be the last thing thought the idea of what makes anyone’s relationship what it is.


How did we get here?


The song Family Fued allow Jay to admit and apologize for wrongdoings he has committed to his wife. However a common theme people want to point out is Jay-Z is twelve years older than Beyonce, questioning how a man, at 47 years old, can just now see the errors in his way. If anything, it’s presumed she should have the leeway to make mistakes and ask for forgiveness, due to inexperience.Instead, she’s asked to be the bigger person, keeping her priorities in focus instead emotions, and letting her husband have a second chance, when clearly, she did not have to. This evidence encourages the debate of how often are men allowed to get away with doing the wrong thing at the sake of a woman who loves him,what is required for men to realize they have a priviliege that allows manipulation with little consequence, and why are women asked to submit to responibility over self-care in regards to the men they share themselves with.


If we are truthful though, how honest can people be about their understandings of themselves in relation to being fully committed to another person? People lie. People cheat. People misconstrue. People confuse things. People interpret information different others based on experiences. The factors keep going and it usually leads to more questions of how things should be rather than answers of what things actually stand as.



Where do we go from here?


This writing isn’t even meant to fully end the debate but rather call into question what we all in this new age of questioning life and love, actually know about either one? What do we really know about people? What do we really believe is meant to be versus what will actually come to light? Do we have the capacity to accep things as they come or are we still victims of Disney logic, where happily ever after is supposed to come to all of us? Are we in a place to question misygyony and all of the effects it has caused on both genders, while also acknowledging both genders tend to profit off of it in untold manners?


The only thing I’ve been able to walk away with from these multiple discussions is that many arent fully prepared for the relationships they desire, and if the work isnt put in, we will continue a trend of disappointing endeavors that result in bitterness and division more so than we see now.




Joel Philip