Think your daily routine is bad? Try the Hunter S. Thompson menu

If you think your daily routine is bad, just check out the schedule of the profane Gonzo journalist and novelist, Hunter S. Thompson (1937-2005). It’s amazing this guy made it to 67.

How E. Jean Carroll acquired the following information for Hunter: The Strange and Savage Life of Hunter S. Thompson is unknown, but her 1993 autobiography for the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas author begins as follows: “I have heard the biographers of Harry S. Truman, Catherine the Great  and others say they would give anything if their subjects were alive so they could ask them questions. I, on the other hand, would give anything if my subject were dead. He should be. Look at his daily routine.”

3:00 p.m. rise

3:05 Chivas Regal with morning papers, Dunhills

3:45 cocaine

3:50 another glass of Chivas, Dunhill

4:05 first cup of coffee, Dunhill

4:15 cocaine

4:16 orange juice, Dunhill

4:30 cocaine

4:54 cocaine

5:05 cocaine

5:11 coffee, Dunhill

5:30 more ice in the Chivas

5:45 cocaine, etc., etc.

6:00 grass to take the edge off the day

7:05 Woody Creek Tavern for lunch-Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone (a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jiggers of Chivas.)

9:00 starts snorting cocaine seriously

10:00 drops acid

11:00 Chartreuse, cocaine, grass

11:30 cocaine, etc., etc.

12:00 midnight, Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write

12:05-6:00 a.m. Chartreuse, cocaine, grass, Chivas, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies.

6:00 the hot tub-champagne, Dove Bars, fettuccine Alfredo

8:00 Halcyon

8:20 sleep

Thompson was a longtime contributor to Rolling Stone magazine, where Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas appeared as a two-part series in 1971. Johnny Depp starred as Thompson’s alter ego, Raoul Duke, in Monty Python member Terry Gilliam’s 1995 film adaptation.

Other notable works by Thompson include 1967’s Hell’s Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs and The Rum Diary, which was written in the early 1960s but not published until 1998. Depp also starred in the latter’s 2011 film adaption, written for the screen and directed by Bruce Robinson. Many of you might know Robinson for his role as Benvolio in the 1968 film version of Romeo and Juliet that you had to watch (or fell asleep to) in high school.

According to Lapham’s Quarterly, Thompson’s ideal breakfast consisted of “four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crêpes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned beef hash with diced chiles, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of key lime pie, two margaritas and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert,” all eaten naked and alone in the warm sun, of course.

So, do you feel any better about yourself now?

Thompson, who committed suicide at 67, was famous for his heavy drinking and drug habit. He partied with Jack Nicholson and The Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards, and was friends with Bill Murray (who also portrayed him back in 1980) and former Secretary of State John Kerry. His lifestyle, which would put Charlie Sheen’s to shame, clearly showed in his subjective style of writing.

Thompson once famously said: “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”