Five novels that should have already been blockbuster films

Everybody’s a critic. We’re all professionals on the comments boards just like anybody who’s ever played airsoft or Call of Duty is instantly a Navy SEAL but even I do believe that the cinema world needs some more spice. These novels would do just fine, so take your pick, Jerry. Attached are my personal picks to make it happen.

FIVE – BLOOD MERIDIAN, CORMAC MCCARTHY

They say it can’t be done. It’s a real puzzle, converting a 300-page bloodbath onto the big screen without offering puke bags like 3d glasses, but the author himself says it can be done. It’s a tough one to manage, a film that’s main character is the land they travel, with no protagonist in sight. The story revolves around The Glanton Gang, a rag-tag group of mercenaries hired to kill Indians for scalps. In turn they rampage the countryside, killing any who appears similar to that of an Indian, and often spending the rewards the very night they obtain them. Ridley Scott was supposedly set to make a go of the horror/western, but we have yet to see the Cormac carnage on screen.

PICKS – Director – Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave

The Kid – Tye Sheridan, MUD

The Judge – Tim Robbins, The Shawshank Redemption

FOUR – SATORI, DON WINSLOW

After Don Winslow wrote the brilliant Savages, he was offered and obliged the chance to create a prequel to one of our most beloved hitman, Nicholai Hel, featured in Trevainan’s Shibumi. A slick, Russian-American hitman freed from jail to do the one thing he does best? Let’s call Leo up now, says one. So they did, he happily agreed and this movie might have been a nice little R-rated Bourne-like flick for us all to enjoy. In the end it was never made, the script was pushed into the shelf and Leo moved on to pave his Oscar path with The Wolf of Wall Street and The Revenant. Now that he’s got that coveted trophy maybe we’ll end up seeing the quiet but deadly Hel in the near future.

PICKS – Director – Chad Stahleski, John Wick

NicholaI Hel – Leo DiCaprio, Everything

Solange – Melanie Laurent, Inglorious Basterds 

THREE – City of Thieves – DAVID BENIOFF 

This one should be easy. Everybody recognizes this author’s name because everybody’s heard of or divulged in Game of Thrones. From one of the creators on the show comes a WWII tale right out of Russia itself, as two natives attempt to find eggs in a food deprived land held under siege by Germans. The purpose of the eggs are so the Colonel’s daughter can enjoy her birthday in some style with a grand gesture of a birthday cake. On the way our hero Lev learns what it means to become a man and the dangers it brings.

PICKS – Director – Taika Waititi – Thor: Ragnarok  

Lev – Tom Holland –  Spiderman: Homecoming 

Kolya – Grant Gustin – The Flash 

TWO – ANY BOOK FROM THE REDWALL SERIES – BRIAN JACQUES 

Martin the Warrior is up there among the great heroes of our time, though many may not know his name or what he’s done. Brian Jaques is practically the George RR Martin of children’s fantasy, though adults can find enjoyment and compelling storytelling in these narratives. Set in a world where mice and badgers can walk bipedal and tout swords and other weaponry comes twenty-one novels set in Redwall. They have made an animated of this title before, but its time for an update so this next generation knows who to look for at their future Barnes n Noble trip.

PICKS – Director – Bryan Howard & Rich Moore – Zootopia 

Martin – Aziz Ansari – Epic 

Slagar – Benedict Cumberbatch – Sherlock

ONE – The Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger

Holden Caulfield is one of the most memorable characters ever written. JD Salinger came and went and became a one hit wonder. The novel is a story of a young man not wanting to be a young man, and what it means to be a guardian of innocence. Although this isn’t a sci-fi, The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson could certainly bring a sense of confusion to a story with an unreliable narrator such as Holden.

PICKS – Director – Rian Johnson – Brick 

Holden Caulfield – Levi Miller – Pan

Mr. Spencer – Stanley Tucci – The Lovely Bones